How transparent are you?

Recent discussion has had me thinking about the very fine line every pastor walks between being transparent and being guarded. I want to be "real" before my congregation, and I want them to see me as transparent, rather than as some crudely painted caricature of what the "perfect pastor" is supposed to be like, act like, or talk like. But, there are certain areas of my thinking, my theology, or my activity, that even though I am comfortable with my stance, I am not necessarily comfortable with sharing those thoughts, or demonstrating those actions, due to concern (dare I say fear?) of what some people may think, or the conclusions they may draw from their momentary observations.

Perhaps I am over-sensitive to this issue, since I had in times past allowed myself to be very transparent, bringing about reaction that I had not anticipated. That was followed by my being fairly guarded, which likewise brought about some negative reaction.

How "transparent" can we actually be, without it compromising our ability to effectively pastor? Or, how guarded do we need to be in order to maintain effective pastoral relationships.

At my church, WFA (Wilmington First Assembly) we did something fairly creative this past summer for our midweek services. Following a time of food and fellowship, each week we conducted a special "Hot Topic" discussion on a variety of very emotional and relevant subjects, a different subject each week. My staff and I, as well as a few other individuals, made up a panel, which would begin the discussion of that week's "hot topic." Following the panel discussion, the floor was opened to comments from all others. We included the teens as well as the children on many weeks. The interaction was marvelous. But, as I served as the "moderator" of the panel, it gave me the opportunity to express some thoughts and ideas, posed in the form of questions to all, that I would never have dared share in the context of preaching a sermon.

It was quite interesting to hear the responses of the people. At many points, I grew so comfortable with this new level of freedom, that I would pose deliberately "edgy" comments and questions, simply to see what responses would be evoked.

What kind of comments am I referring to? Well, as an example, one night's "hot topic" was "Pro-Life and the Christian." Some at first thought the subject to not be necessary, because they believed that all Christians should necessarily be pro-life. When I shared that although I consider myself to be pro-life, I am certain that there are many "hard core" pro-lifers that would not think me to be pro-life at all. I mentioned that there is a big difference between being pro-life and being anti-abortion. I could go into greater detail, but you get the general idea.

I was amazed at how transparent I had become, perhaps because I was not taking a position of "pontificating" before a congregation. But, each week, the folks gathered together that evening likewise were quite transparent.

Some random observations I have made from all of this:
(1) The people were as comfortably transparent as I modeled for them.
(2) There was no negative reaction at all, even when I shared some fairly bold thoughts. I believe this was due to the fact that I was perceived as simply sharing thoughts and asking questions, rather than being "preachy."
(3) People truly appreciated being able to express their honest opinions, and received the opinions of others in a far greater way than I would have ever expected.
(4) I am fairly certain that some folks disagreed with me at certain times. But, in spite of my concerns and fears, it didn't affect my pastoral ministry or position with them.
(5) I have pastored here for seven years now. Perhaps I have earned the right to be more transparent than I have been before.

Are you transparent with your people? It is wonderfully liberating. Are you willing to "let your guard down" and allow people to see you for the real person you are? They will appreciate it, and I believe they will respond to your ministry in a much greater way.