Most pastors I know do premarital counseling, but I'm sure our approaches are quite varied.
For some years, we have been using the Prepare compatibility test as well as the old Richard Dobbins videos/workbooks.
I'd like to invite everyone into this, not just the contributors.
What do you use? What does your process look like?
Please leave a comment and share...
BTW, here are three things I tell almost every couple:
(1) You are attracted to each other because you are different from each other, but a terrible thing often happens right after the wedding. Couples start wondering why their spouse isn't more like them. I say, that'll happen, but it takes about 50 years. Don't expect to become more like each other the first year.
(2) There is absolutely no correlation between a good wedding and a good marriage. I remind them of Prince Charles and Lady Diana. I encourage them to have as nice a wedding as they wish to have, but not to think that it has anything at all to do with the success of their marriage. I then ask which they are putting more prep into.
(3) Along those lines, I counsel the bride to make the wedding as nice as she can, but when the wedding time comes, forget about all the details and just enjoy it, no matter what goes right or goes wrong. I say, wouldn't be a shame to put all that effort into a wedding and then not enjoy it because something went wrong, which is almost inevitable.
Sunday, October 7, 2007
Pre-Marital Counseling
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4 comments:
I use the old Richard Dobbins Videos and workbooks also. I am interested in learning what others do also.
I welcome my staff to each craft their own pre-marriage path. We all do something a bit different from the others.
Personally, I do about 4-5 meetings. My approach is conversational, relational, and relaxed. I follow a simple outline as follows:
1. History; how did you meet, what do you like about each other, etc.
2. Family history; what are your parents' marriages like, what do you dream of together, how do you feel your relationship is going.
3. Conflict resolution, finances, expectations
4. Wedding planning
I don't do premarital counseling anymore. I don't do many weddings either. I used to do about 10 a year and it was just too much. Now I might do one or two. The staff does the rest.
We outsource our premarital counseling to a trusted, Christian counselor in our community. He meets with the couples 6 times and they go through a number of personality assessment tools as well as workbooks, etc. He charges about $300. It's a good investment.
Closeness to God is created only by few things than the destruction of addiction. When a person is really depressed and falls very weak, the power of Lord and his grace makes us strong and perfect within us. And when one prays with humility seeking help from the lord during times of depression or despair of addiction, God eases our burdens with a good solution and shows us the right path. Christian drug treatment programs have great focus on the faith and imbibe good values on an addictive individual by making them learn the scriptures, religious services etc.
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george
http://www.christian-drug-rehab.org
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